Sunday, February 16, 2014
To No One
I miss the shakes before we aren't sure what to do
I miss the moment right before we kiss
I miss kissing and wanting to get closer
I really miss touching your lips with my fingers
I miss the moment after you pull away when my face gets hot
Then the feeling afterwards when I want to melt
In which I'm still really bitter about this stuff
To my Mom,
Deep down I'm still really angry that you home schooled me. From when I was little, teaching myself to tie my shoes, to using the big kid potty, to learning how to read, to long division, I had to teach myself or listen to you teach the boys. I understand that you were a very busy mommy of 6 working full time, but there were more options than just homeschooling all of us. The boys really needed you to home school them when they would young and learning how to read, back when they would fly off the handle. But me, I was just a regular little girl that was a little bit advanced for my age. I could have been put in public school when I was little so I could learn important staples of education, like simple editing marks or the FOIL method. I missed those because you were doing the best you could with the boys and the rest of us kids and work. I don't blame you for being busy, or having so many kids, but I do blame you for keeping me at home. I would have thrived in public school, no matter how flawed it was. I could have taken advanced classes and still strived for excellence, because that's my nature. In a way, you held me back by trying to get the best for me. You kept me from becoming socially aware until I started travelling for sports, where I got rudely reminded of all my underdeveloped social quirks that come with homeschooling.
Not to mention that I have now come to hate homeschooling. Not only hate, but I despise it. Every single day, sitting at home and missing out on everything that goes on at the high school is like my own personal Hell. It enables me to procrastinate and to put things off or get away with being lazy. I hate that it makes me like that. I just feel so mad and frustrated the longer I sit at home wasting my time. Don't get me wrong, I love the free time, I really do! I just wish I could spend it with others. I hate that you didn't let me get my schooling for math at the school sooner, no matter your reasons. It's really embarrassing to have to re-take Algebra 2 because I never learned the rules of exponents and such. And I'm not saying that it's all your fault, but really, could you have expected a 13 year old girl to have the self motivation to teach herself Algebra? You got me hating math so much that I started settling for B's. Homeschooling has ruined English for me. I hate every second that I write my papers, the paper that I basically write so it looks like you're doing your job of "teaching" me. Honestly, I can't even remember the last time you tried to teach me something.
Actually, that's a lie. I remember you were trying to teach me pre-algebra and was trying to force me to do a problem your way, which is not the way my brain works. You never got that my learning style was different than all your other kids. You would always tell me, "Trust me, I've taught this to 5 other kids before. I know what I'm doing," and you may have known what you were doing with them, but you didn't with me. So I suffered. And hated math.
Deep down I'm still really angry that you home schooled me. From when I was little, teaching myself to tie my shoes, to using the big kid potty, to learning how to read, to long division, I had to teach myself or listen to you teach the boys. I understand that you were a very busy mommy of 6 working full time, but there were more options than just homeschooling all of us. The boys really needed you to home school them when they would young and learning how to read, back when they would fly off the handle. But me, I was just a regular little girl that was a little bit advanced for my age. I could have been put in public school when I was little so I could learn important staples of education, like simple editing marks or the FOIL method. I missed those because you were doing the best you could with the boys and the rest of us kids and work. I don't blame you for being busy, or having so many kids, but I do blame you for keeping me at home. I would have thrived in public school, no matter how flawed it was. I could have taken advanced classes and still strived for excellence, because that's my nature. In a way, you held me back by trying to get the best for me. You kept me from becoming socially aware until I started travelling for sports, where I got rudely reminded of all my underdeveloped social quirks that come with homeschooling.
Not to mention that I have now come to hate homeschooling. Not only hate, but I despise it. Every single day, sitting at home and missing out on everything that goes on at the high school is like my own personal Hell. It enables me to procrastinate and to put things off or get away with being lazy. I hate that it makes me like that. I just feel so mad and frustrated the longer I sit at home wasting my time. Don't get me wrong, I love the free time, I really do! I just wish I could spend it with others. I hate that you didn't let me get my schooling for math at the school sooner, no matter your reasons. It's really embarrassing to have to re-take Algebra 2 because I never learned the rules of exponents and such. And I'm not saying that it's all your fault, but really, could you have expected a 13 year old girl to have the self motivation to teach herself Algebra? You got me hating math so much that I started settling for B's. Homeschooling has ruined English for me. I hate every second that I write my papers, the paper that I basically write so it looks like you're doing your job of "teaching" me. Honestly, I can't even remember the last time you tried to teach me something.
Actually, that's a lie. I remember you were trying to teach me pre-algebra and was trying to force me to do a problem your way, which is not the way my brain works. You never got that my learning style was different than all your other kids. You would always tell me, "Trust me, I've taught this to 5 other kids before. I know what I'm doing," and you may have known what you were doing with them, but you didn't with me. So I suffered. And hated math.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Whee isn't life fun?
I think I owe you all (probably a whopping no one) and explanation of my life right now.
We'll so ten million years ago I wrote a post about my trip to Homer, yes? Well there was this one guy there that I kind of got to know and stuff and it turned out that he was a cross country runner too so I kind of kept in touch with him and then we saw each other at a meet a while back and started talking more again. Then by state we were hella flirting and stuff and so I went to a college fair and he drove me up to go to it too and we spent so much time together and held hands and stuff and yeah so we were basically together but then last week I just was done with doing long distance and stuff so I ended that. And then there's this freshman that I thought was pretty cool and we hung out helping out with the haunted house and I wanted to become better friends with him so we started chatting and my goodness now he is saying he has a small crush and me and stuff and eesh I just wanted to be friends but he is way flirty... So. Oh well. I'll just continue on but I'm definitely not dating him because that would be super weird. I care about what people think of me way too much.
In other news, me and Ralayne (see past posts) aren't friends anymore. We don't even talk. I've written about her making me feel shit and stuff and she did. And she would always get annoyed at me for everything. It made me feel crappy. So now we aren't friends. Sometimes I really really miss her, though. I don't like not having a complete best friend here, which just makes me want to graduate even more.
Another thing is the hella stress of senior year.... My geography book took forever to come in so I'm behind in that, I'm behind in my personal finance course just because I haven't been doing it, and I had to change literature course so I'm starting from scratch with that. And to top it all off, my laptop has crapped out so I'm typing this on an iPad. Wheee.
Isn't life fun?
:)
I just need to survive to graduation...
I love you all,
Rosa
We'll so ten million years ago I wrote a post about my trip to Homer, yes? Well there was this one guy there that I kind of got to know and stuff and it turned out that he was a cross country runner too so I kind of kept in touch with him and then we saw each other at a meet a while back and started talking more again. Then by state we were hella flirting and stuff and so I went to a college fair and he drove me up to go to it too and we spent so much time together and held hands and stuff and yeah so we were basically together but then last week I just was done with doing long distance and stuff so I ended that. And then there's this freshman that I thought was pretty cool and we hung out helping out with the haunted house and I wanted to become better friends with him so we started chatting and my goodness now he is saying he has a small crush and me and stuff and eesh I just wanted to be friends but he is way flirty... So. Oh well. I'll just continue on but I'm definitely not dating him because that would be super weird. I care about what people think of me way too much.
In other news, me and Ralayne (see past posts) aren't friends anymore. We don't even talk. I've written about her making me feel shit and stuff and she did. And she would always get annoyed at me for everything. It made me feel crappy. So now we aren't friends. Sometimes I really really miss her, though. I don't like not having a complete best friend here, which just makes me want to graduate even more.
Another thing is the hella stress of senior year.... My geography book took forever to come in so I'm behind in that, I'm behind in my personal finance course just because I haven't been doing it, and I had to change literature course so I'm starting from scratch with that. And to top it all off, my laptop has crapped out so I'm typing this on an iPad. Wheee.
Isn't life fun?
:)
I just need to survive to graduation...
I love you all,
Rosa
Saturday, November 16, 2013
oops
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| #7: Reflection |
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| #8: Something you do every day I go on Tumblr wayyy too much. |
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| Day #9: Small Me when I was small. |
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| Day #11: Night Sitting at home doing nothing. I did go to Zumba doe |
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| Day #13: Where you slept Hehe using this pic again because I'm on my bed |
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| Day #14: Man-made Something man made, my man! |
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| Day #15: In your bag Schoolwork, yay |
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| Day#16: The view from your window *Distracts you from the fact that I don't have any pics of my window with better pic of Alaska* |
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| Day #10: Something you can't {won't} live without I can't stand not working out it drives me crazy |
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
i'm lazy
Oh well.
Day 1: Something beginning with a "C"
"Collage." My senior pictures!
This is for my graduation announcements. Boy, I'm ready to be done with high school.
Day 2: Color
My eye color. Hazel? I think?
Day 3: Breakfast
I jokes. I wish this was my breakfast every day, though. Mmm.
Day 4: TV
I don't watch much TV. Pretty much the only show in my life right now is Supernatural.
Day 5: 5 o'clock
I don't have any recent photos, but my 5 o'clock usually consists of this. Schoolwork.
Day 6: A favorite thing.
Running. Definitely.
It's become a way of life. I miss it.
Monday, October 14, 2013
before I kick the bucket #2
So, I'm not even going to promise that I'll try and keep up with this anymore. School is crazy, and life is crazy. Sometimes I'll write. :) In short I ran this XC season won Regionals placed 5th at state, and have been talking to college coaches.
I thought it might be cool to update my bucket list I posted a year ago today.
I thought it might be cool to update my bucket list I posted a year ago today.
Go to collegeGo to prom- Attend a murder mystery dinner
Ride in a helicopter- Kiss a guy in the rain
- Travel to a big city in the East Coast (other than Boston)
- Go to a different country (other than Canada)
- Make a tree house
- Skydive (I know I know, extra extra cliche, but I have a HUGE fear of falling so I would be crazy cool to actually do this)
- Be in one of those zero-gravity places
- Do crazy stuff in Wal-Mart
Meet a famous runner- Run a marathon
- Coach a sport
- Go to a beach that's actually warm
- Get a deep-tissue massage
- Write my will
- Go to Iceland
Go to Chena Hot Springs, Alaska- Have my
hairand makeup done by a professional - Hang out with a monkey
- Ride the subway
- See a Broadway musical live
- Go to a fancy clothing store... And buy one thing.
- Skinny dip
Go to a ball
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- Go on a road trip
- Run an ultra
- Meet someone famous and be casual about it
- Ride in a private jet
Thursday, August 22, 2013
why do i even try to keep up
Crap, I am a poopie.
I ditched this poor blog all summer, and here I am, crawling back on my last first day of high school. A LOT has happened, but not really. Kind of.
Well summer got out and then I decided I like punishment so I headed to a college in Alaska to spend my precious summer taking 10 college credits. Good lord, lets just say it sucked. I had the pleasure of taking Math 106, in which I spent 5-7 hours on math PER DAY. Yay me. And then I returned home to disgusting rainy cold weather for a few weeks, slumming it until my next excursion, going to Idaho for a running camp. Well, I attended that sweltering hot camp, came back, slummed it for a bit more and now, here I am. Back in the saddle of school. I did, however, take this wonderful college English class that I absolutely loved. My next post will be a story I made up for the class.
But alas until next time when I have time,
Stay classy San Diego.
I ditched this poor blog all summer, and here I am, crawling back on my last first day of high school. A LOT has happened, but not really. Kind of.
Well summer got out and then I decided I like punishment so I headed to a college in Alaska to spend my precious summer taking 10 college credits. Good lord, lets just say it sucked. I had the pleasure of taking Math 106, in which I spent 5-7 hours on math PER DAY. Yay me. And then I returned home to disgusting rainy cold weather for a few weeks, slumming it until my next excursion, going to Idaho for a running camp. Well, I attended that sweltering hot camp, came back, slummed it for a bit more and now, here I am. Back in the saddle of school. I did, however, take this wonderful college English class that I absolutely loved. My next post will be a story I made up for the class.
But alas until next time when I have time,
Stay classy San Diego.
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