The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. -Abraham Lincoln

While I was at my brother's wedding, someone approached me and told me something along the lines of "a smile is the window into someone's soul." He then told me I had a beautiful smile and that I shouldn't be shy to show it off. Wat.
I hadn't realized this until while I was slow dancing with SisterBrother, and he asked me, "Why do you always look away when you smile? Your smile is beautiful." Well shucks. :)
It definitely didn't start that way, I'll tell you that. And obviously you know, dear reader, the terrible woes of my braces. I am so thankful to have beautiful teeth. But I think it's more than that. I am usually a very joyful person. Therefore I express this through my facial expressions. I think I started looking away when I smile quite some time ago, because I was very self-conscious about my teeth. I didn't want anyone to see, well, how unattractive they were. I guess I have to get over this now.

It's starting to weird me out with how much attention I have been getting from guys recently. Just last night I got a message on Facebook saying hello from someone I haven't really talked to since he graduated last year. Weird much? But the weirdest part of all was that after I answer his question of how have I been doing with "Good," he said "You're looking good ;)" And then when I told him I had to go to bed he told me "Goodnight beautiful." 
What?
Annnd, this other guy at school has been texting me and we almost went to a movie together last weekend, and he will tell me about how my hugs make his day and stuff.
Huh.

It's like my the whole male atmosphere has been changing, but I don't really feel like I've changed? 

P.S., I got a new necklace. Easily my new favorite.

Look, pictures!!

there once was a girl,

There once was a girl that loves to read books about cheesy teen romances. She read them with longing, jealously, and wanting. Wanting to be somewhere that there weren't the same people at school every day and where the variety of people was better, where it is harder for the school to know your business. Jealousy for the beautiful girls that don't know their beauty or do and have guys left and right. For their effortlessness in situations. Longing for someone special to make me happy, longing for the confirmation I crave.
Now, this same girl has grown and aged and become more wise, but all those things she wanted she still wants. She wants to feel beautiful and not self conscious, she wants guys to see her for who she is. She wants to have that effortless grace and beauty. She wants to meet better, sweeter guys that she reads about in her books. The ones who don't drink and party and smoke pot, who don't flirt with anything that breathes. She wants that fictional perfect guy.
She's been trying to feel good about herself, but it is a daily struggle.
She blames the town, she blames her genetics, she blames God, and she blames herself.
"If only my nose was a little smaller," "My eyes more colorful,"
She just wishes she could change things.
It's poisonous. 
Change how she sees herself, how other people see her and change her surroundings. But she knows this wont happen overnight.
So she tries.
And tries. And it gets a little better, day by day.
She tries.

And to yourself you sometimes say "I never knew it was gonna be this way why didn't they tell me the day I was born?" -Bob Dylan

 I'm cheating again. 


11. What is your best personal characteristic?
Probably my kindness.
12. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?
Follow a guy around all day.
13. My biggest pet peeve is...
Being late.
14. Can you comfortably eat in a restaurant by yourself? Go to movie?
I don't think so.
15. What is the craziest (or stupidest) thing you have ever done?
I dropped a 100 lb. table on my toe and fractured it when I was about 8.
16. If you wrote a book about yourself...what would it be about?
My stupid adventures and embarrassing stories.
17. What is your best scar? Tell the story of how you got it.
My coolest one I have is on my elbow, I was at a friends house and they had this one bike that always made people crash, but me being the dumb kid I was decided to try and see for myself and I fell and cut my elbow and hands and hip.
18.  You have multiple personalities, describe some of them.
A) Mature, take charge Rosa B) Breaking lots of rules Rosa C) Around my closest friends Rosa D) Around strangers Rosa E) Around acquaintances Rosa F) Around old people Rosa G) In class Rosa
19. What is one thing about you people would be surprised to learn?
That I swear. A lot.
20. What takes you out of your comfort zone?

Crowds of people I don't know, having to wait without anything to do, dates.

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. -Confucius

So recently I've had a wake up call from what my friend Beatrice said to me. I don't remember her exact  writing, but one piece of word really stuck with me. She said that 1) I need to realize that I shouldn't put myself down so much and 2) I can't chamge how I look, so might as well embrace it and act with confidence.
Take my huge nose for example: I'll just think of it as adding contours to my face. My flat chest? All the better for running, plus I honestly don't care if people think my boobs are small, so what? My big feet? Spreads out the surface area for impact while running. +Higher heels without my feet hurting as much?
Screw other people's opinions, man. Plus, all them guys of my running team are like my bros. Plus they let me steal their heat and sleep on them without any weirdness.(:
It still kind of sucks, but screw it.

It has taken me FOREVER to write this! I have been SO SO SO busy with running, babysitting, work and school, it's not even funny. This week I put in about 29 miles! Pluuus I ran two community races this week.

Bonjour,
Rosa