Yeah, so I went to Homer, AK this past weekend for a Youth Court Conference.
It was kickin'.
So many so very odd people that are so comfortable with who they are and how they are, I loved it.
...And a few very attractive-looking guys.
I've seem to have developed a defensive shield of flirty-ness and have become this player girl that flirts with everyone.
I feel like I have to compensate for the things I don't like about myself with the things I know I rock.
I sit around in self-reflection and realize how much of a cocky prick I've become, while deep down I still see myself as this odd-looking awkward little girl.
And I don't even know.
I don't even know how I WANT to act! Is Rosa a flirt? Is she awkward? Is she a crazy mofo? I just dunno mayne.
I'll tell you if I ever figure that out.
It's kind of getting pretty bad, because I had a couple of the most quirky, sweet guys on the hook in Homer and all I wanted to do was flirt with no regrets, except I kind of forget people still have feelings. Crazy, I know! Who would have thought?
Most people here in rural Alaska (small towns and villages) have their cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents and second cousins around for all sorts of get-togethers, or are a short flight away from each other.
Everyone is so close to one another, and they always have stories and wisdom from their grandparents. My family's the same way, except I'm thousands of miles away. Tickets don't come cheap, so I usually see all my extended family once a year, if that. It's tough because other that my parents and siblings and I, everyone else is pretty close to one another in Oregon and Washington, making it easy to have Christmas/Thanksgiving/Easter get-togethers.
I feel a little cheated from my family because of missing all of that and seeing lots of pictures on Facebook. As I've gotten older, my grandparents seem even more fragile, even more shaky and even more old. They're in their 80's, and it's hard not to think about how little time they have left.
Now I'm sad and I can't even end this post properly, so I'll... just. Go now.
Okay, maybe I'll leave you with a joke or something, so I'm not a total downer.
I'm back from my seven-billionth hiatus from blogging.
Because blogging is much better than doing things you should be doing...
Lots has happened, but first of all:
I LOVE IT
I REMADE MY MUTHERFLIPPIN blog. Isn't it hawt? I spent the time I should've been showering doing that. You're welcome.
Anyways, I guess you deserve an update of just... everything. And believe me, there's a lot.
Ah, so I broke up with Troublemaker. There just wasn't any butterflies or gushy feelings toward him, so I just felt like I was faking. I didn't want to stay with someone just to stay with them, you know? But I don't think I hurt him too much, because practically the next day he was going out with some other girl.
And so skiing! The first weekend of races were way saggy, but then the important races the week after: Duuuude. I hit 8/10! That's like... Double what I've ever hit in all my years of skiing. Annnd so I got first place for that race! ...Which also meant that I earned a spot for ski/biathlon in the 2014 Fairbanks Arctic Winter Games. Hell to the yes.
I also got elected president of youth court.
I also got accepted into RAHI! *deep sigh of relief*
I promise you all a post about RAHI sometime in the near future. Just not now.