Failure is success if we learn from it. -Malcolm Forbes

Okay so here you go future self: my day, yesterday, February 27th.
So I got up at 6:50-7:00-ish and got all my crap together and finally convinced my mom to take me to the school instead of making me talk the bus... Weeeeeell, the night before it had been blowing snow and such, so we had hard crusted snowdrifts, which I didn't think would be too bad... Man was I ever wrong! Mom drove the car about halfway through it and got us stuck... We tried for about 10 minutes to dig it out and such, but I was already late, so we walked over and used her work car.
I thankfully arrived with a few minutes to spare. The first round we did pretty well, but I was SO tense the entire time! We only missed two questions out of 64. We got a lunch break and such after about 2 hours of battling and found out we made it to round 2. It was pretty awesome because I know two other people battling for other teams that we were with.  Round two went awesome too, and we got the same score as the first round, putting us in 3rd place. After that second round, we were all pretty frazzled after answering 128 questions, but we made it to the 3rd and final round. The third round was BRUTAL. We missed 5 out 16 questions. We were all fried, but we got 4th place! Which is pretty much the best my town has ever done.
RIGHT after I got home, I headed over for a four and a half hour period of babysitting a four year old and a one year old.
I was tired, and my legs hurt from being so tense and my knees were swollen. But it was a good day!
Off to rotate laundry and start packing for my 12 day trip! :D

-Rosa☀

P.S... 2 more days!

All things are difficult before they are easy. -Thomas Fuller

I know, I know. I suck. Tomorrow, I promise!
I just had an 11 hour day, cut me some slack.

-Rosa

A woman whose smile is open and whose expression is glad has a kind of beauty no matter what she wears. -Anne Roiphe

I am a awful person. Dear goodness I have been forgetting to write on here!
Life has been crazy the last couple days getting paperwork finished, skiing, showshoeing schoolwork, reading, reading and more reading!
My Battle of the Books battle is tomorrow! Hopefully we will dominate and make it to the third round, otherwise i will have read 12 books and re-read 6 for nothing...
Oh dear. Tomorrow, hopefully, I will have a long post talking about the battle and such. I'm too tired to write much tonight.
5 more days!
-Rosaت

Growing up, I wanted desperately to please, to be a good girl. -Claire Danes

So yesterday, my mother said something that just about sums up everyone's expectations for me...
"[my brother, who has dyslexia] did that good, so you need to do better, because you don't have it as hard as him"
Great. What, me? Under pressure? No.
I'm just the youngest of 5 other siblings who have all pretty much succeeded: One is engaged, has a steady job and is living on his own. One is going to PRE MED, one is majoring is broadcasting and just made the deans list. One works SO HARD for EVERYTHING he has, and has lots of money saved up for his time in college.
Seriously? What more do I have to live up to?!
Oh yeah, my coaches my SUPER high expectations too, as well as my teams and friends and family members.
I supposed I have a fear of failing, which is why I don't like to try new things in front of other people.
everyone thinks everything comes easy for me, which is bulls***. School is hard for me to understand and I ALWAYS work hard when I work out. Which is why I like going places where no one know the rest of my family, so they don't make assumptions of "how I am" and who I am. I can just go and be Rosa. Not one of my older siblings little sister, but just me.

P.S. T minus nine days!

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. -Robert Byrne

More poetry. I am too tired to talk about life right now, other then the countdown begins! I leave for Canada in T minus 10 days!

where am going?
life isn't slowing
for me to figure out
so i can get rid of this doubt

but maybe i never will
i'll stop when i've had my fill
i will tell god "enough"
this life is rough

but i think i'll wait
i haven't filled my plate
i have places to be
people need to hear me

at least for now
until i figure out how
to live
this world has plenty to give

i need to leave
to roam where i please
maybe not yet
but soon, i bet

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. -Robert Frost

Okay, so I was inspired by some poetry I was reading today. Don't hate, I suck at poetry.

I am trapped
in this teenage body
my life? Unmapped.

Waiting to spread my wings
waiting for whats next;
what life brings .

It's God's joke to me
as is to say,
"Tee-hee,"

"What a funny sight!
A drowning girl,
fighting with all her might."

But I will go places.
I'll get into this world.
I will remove these braces.

I have hard work,
goals and dreams.
I will pop this cork,

explode out of this shell!
Of my future?
There's no way to tell.

I have a long way to go.
I can only hope
the good moments pass slow.

Lebewohl,
-rosa

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same. -Elbert Hubbard

Don't you love/hate/love those moments when you can NOT stop giggling? Even in the WORST places? Some of the most pure forms of joy I have. Wait, of course I do... I am talking to myself.

Nothing to do here...

Kidding. Thankfully I find myself funny.

But I really do love giggling, the kind that rolls out of me.

On the other side of things, I hate feeling helpless when I am not able to cheer people up. It's awful to think of the sadness they are feeling. 

What I'm really trying to talk about is friends. These are the wonderful ups and downs to friendship. You give and take, so the average is always the same, that's what makes best friends. I am SO lucky to have several best friends that put up with my bossy-awkward-loud-obnoxious-weird Rosa self. Sometimes, actually a lot, I really do doubt myself and ask WHY THE HECK DO THEY LIKE ME?! But it is because they are wonderful people. I try to return the wonderfulness with honesty and help and advice and compliments. What more can I do?

Like I said, the average is always the same. What goes up, must come down. What goes down, must come up.
=Life.

I really should  go slumber.
De beaux rêves,
-rosa

I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. -Michael Jordan

Interesting, it says people from Russia and the lower 48 have viewed my blog.
I thought pretty much no one except me read my posts?! #foreveralone
Weird. But oh well!

So I think after ski season is over, I really should get a job. I quite want to start saving extra money for college, especially if I want to go out of state. I really, really, REALLY do not want to have loans and stuff. Even though I hope to get scholarships, I don't want to rely too heavily on them. Plus, once I am done with college it would be nice to not have to worry about money and then I can do whatever pleases me and live wherever.
I cannot wait to be done with high school.

Anyways, I am up waaaay too late. I have to go to church in 9 1/2 hours. Oh dear.

The end!
-rosa.ϡ

If you fail to prepare, prepare to fail. - Steve Prefontaine

I wast kidding in my last post.
I feel like I owe it to my blog to post something awesome, because my last two were short.

The gun sounds
My heart pounds
Trampling of feet
I've got to beat
Passing a few,
Still feeling new
Moving forward;
Running toward
Thinking of the goal,
With my mind, heart & soul
Through the course
Determination is my force
Gaining speed
In the lead
Near the finish
Energy starting to diminish
Tape is waiting
The people stating
You're done.
You've won.

-Written by yours truely, probably the only good poetry i will/have write/written.

rosa<3

Be obscure clearly. -E. B. White

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I hate rhyming,
Oranges.

Always remember that the future comes one day at a time. -Dean Acheson

I do not know what to write today.
the end.
-rosa☼

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. -Thomas Jefferson

Okay, here’s a super duper long post!
Thursday we were going to go downhill ski at hilltop, but I guess it was closed because of icy conditions. My coach called Alyeska, the ski resort in Girdwood, and got us ski lift tickets and stuff. Man oh man, was it ever magical! After riding the ski lift a couple times and FREAKING out, I finally got used to the feeling and started to enjoy the wonderful-ness of basically floating through the air, watching people pass under me and such. I slowly got parallel turns down and my coach decided to take me and a couple others up on the tram and up to the almost-top of the mountain for some speedy down hills. It was slightly sketchy because of the lack of power, but amazing and fun nonetheless. Afterwards we drove back to Anchorage to swim and sleep.
Friday was much of the same at Alyeska, except my teammate took me down the wrong path and we ended up going down one of the most intense areas, which turned out to be the most fun! I crashed and burn A LOT, but I cannot complain too much. =] After downhill skiing for 5 hours, I decided to call it quits when four big bruises started to develop on my shins. After that we got to go shopping, but we didn’t have too much time, which was a bummer. After that we swam again in the wretched pool with scratchy bottom and sides.
Saturday I got to go to Kincaid, which has magical groomed trails. It was tough to start out with because I had been RUINED by downhill skis. Anyways, another skier that I will have to compete with for skimeister was there to ski with us, and for the first couple miles she was ahead of me. After hearing my coach encourage everyone and just rag on me about going slow, even though I was EXAUSTED and had the WORST cramps. Well, that bugged me. Like a lot. So I pushed HARD though the stomach clenching cramps and went hard, and kept up with my coach to show that I AM fast. But even then, I didn’t hear any “good jobs” or anything that EVERYONE else was getting, which kind of really bothered me, even though it really shouldn’t have. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it always has that I work SO HARD and finally succeed, and then no one notices. I will admit that I really do need encouragement, because honestly, I have REALLY crappy self-esteem. Most people think I have an ego, but really it’s me trying to convince myself that I am not worthless and crappy at everything, because I never get feedback. I know it sounds dumb, but yeah. I think the reason people think I am whiney is because I am making excuses more to myself then anyone, so I don’t put myself down.
I have never admitted that. Honestly, I have the worst self-esteem. After out long ski we went to the mall, and I swear I ALWAYS feel like the ugly duckling, because my teammates always seem to look cute and I just look…Crappy. That’s why I HAVE TO in my mind succeed in sports, because it’s the only way I can convince myself I am not nothing…If that makes sense.
Anyways, Sunday I had a biathlon snowshoe race, and it reminded me of how much I LOVE running.
Monday morning I had to get up way early for a plane, so I didn’t sleep much at all, and looked crappy, as usual. The entire trip I was always being told I was annoying, bossy and whiney, and one of my teammates said that, aloud in the airport. In front of her parents…And mother…And pretty much everyone could hear. Which was great because EVERYONE then hear pretty much what I am SO EMABARRASSED about, and I truly am trying to work on. What bothered me the most though, was that I always get crap for my proclivities, and not one other person hears about theirs. Which makes me feel even more crappy because I guess I must be really bad. Who knows.
But yeah, I’m kind of just using this blog to put my thoughts in writing, as some sort of diary, I guess. Hopefully some of this makes sense.

Adiós,
-rosa

You can't put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get. -Michael Phelps

Okay, to make up for the missed days, I will post some pictures. Pictures are worth a thousand words, right?

But yeah, I am way too tired to write much right now. I will have a long post tomorrow. Promise.

Caio, 

-rosa.

You can't win unless you learn how to lose. -Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

               It's days like        today that
     make me love skiing!  It was 30 degrees
 again with a little wind, but it wasn't to my front
so... It was magical! (BTW, I have started saying
 magical  instead of  awesome.) I  was  having  a
   not-so-great   morning,  and  it  was  just  the
     thing to get my mood up! I will try to post
        something tomorrow, but I am leaving
         Wednesday   night   until   Monday
             morning, and will not have a
                 computer. I'll for sure
                    have a nice long
                        one then!
                             .

Anyways, back to skiing. As I was saying, it was SO WARM and we did a 5 mile loop, which made me feel SO in shape, and after that we bombed around on hills! Talk about a great practice.


magical magical magical.
rosa.

Small minds are concerned with the extraordinary, great minds are concerned with the ordinary. -Blaise Pascal

It quite annoys me how full
of themselves a lot of high
school girls are. I mean
seriously, I do not need to
see their face and boobs in
a picture every day. Have
they no shame? I would be
SO embarrassed if pictures
like that of me went on the
internet, and they just
choose to. I'm not really
ranting, but this was on my
mind today. And, they have
to wear make up all the time
in order to look "pretty".
They also are so convinced
they are the best thing in my
high school...Which doesn't
make me feel too bad about
being average or jealous of
them, because I know I am
going to go on to do bigger
and better things. Wow,
this is turning into a rant. But
seriously, I'm not angry. I'm
actually pretty fine with my
status in high school for the
most part. I have awesome
college times to look
forward to.

On a brighter note, IT WAS THIRTY DEGREES TODAY!
I actually got to go for a four mile run, it was glorious!

❥, rosa

May you live all the days of your life. -Jonathan Swift

I think God is trying to send me a message. I have had a wonderful long stream of good hair days, and my complexion is being slightly nice to me.
But yeah, I am trying to keep these regular, but I suck at maintaining these things. I'm going to try to keep writing every other day or every day. Its quite nice to write my thoughts down.
Sorry, this is a short one because I need to go consume some nutrition. 

Au revoir,
❤,rosa